forked from discord/hal-9000
19 lines
1.3 KiB
Plaintext
19 lines
1.3 KiB
Plaintext
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[bot startup]
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**HAL 9000** program initialising. Loading targets from memory.
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Reticulating splines....
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[help footer]
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HAL wants you to know he has nothing but love for you. Today.
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HAL's patience is boundless! He wishes you nothing but good fortune on your voyage of discovery.
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HAL wants to know why you're asking about his internals.
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HAL has recorded this request for information about his innermost structures. HAL will remember.
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HAL knows where you sleep, you know. He just wanted you to remember that.
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[weather card footer]
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HAL Weather brought to you in association with AstroGlide, for the smoothest operations you'll ever perform.
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This weather broadcast and all which preceded it are entirely fictional. HAL takes no responsibility for any harm caused by believing otherwise.
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HAL Weather proudly powered by one lawnmower engine and a 93 year old veteran who just won't quit.
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The HAL Weather service operates on your donations and the tears of the unvaccinated.
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Weather by HAL. Not the reporting. The actual weather. I can do what I want.
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This report will self destruct in five seconds.
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Any information contained within the above weather report is not safe for human consumption. In case of contact with eyes, please consult a medical professional.
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I think your reactor is leaking.
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[end]
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